Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
