I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
