Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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