put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
are you so shy because you have an std?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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