i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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