Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Randomize
