i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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