then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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