If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize