oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
