So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
