Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
