Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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