Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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