Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
