first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
