dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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