Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
