I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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