I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
