This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
