I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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