I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
