have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
