Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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