So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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