Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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