just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
