yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Randomize
