i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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