R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
not ubering you a puppy
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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