Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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