im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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