ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
