I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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