I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
