i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
