And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
