this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
