I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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