Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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