Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
