I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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