ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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