If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Randomize