just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
