Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
