there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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