i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
