This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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