There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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